Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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