I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
