the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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