I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
