its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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