If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
