i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
