i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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