JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We're too hungover to prance.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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