the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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