And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
