i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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