And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
