yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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