Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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