It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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