i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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