It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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