I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
