i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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