R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
