Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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