I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
