So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
