Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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