the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
