Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
