awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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