I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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