it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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