If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
