im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
