Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
