You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
