theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How naked do you want me to be?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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