Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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