i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
