office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
