Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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