She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
