Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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