I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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