If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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