It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
