we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
