I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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