I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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