census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
