I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
