Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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