So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
