it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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